


Quicksand

by akatsuki_tsukiyomi (Yumi25Nakashima)



Series: First Blush [41]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Arguing, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Established Relationship, F/M, Fights, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Reader-Insert, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi25Nakashima/pseuds/akatsuki_tsukiyomi
Summary: My baby's hands don't hold mine anymoreHe just looks at me like he's staring on a blank wallHe said I was his only oneBut now I'm all alone
Relationships: Poland (Hetalia)/Reader
Series: First Blush [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089500





	Quicksand

**Author's Note:**

> (F/N) - Reader's First Name  
> (L/N) - Reader's Last Name  
> Feliks Łukasiewicz - Poland's official human name  
> Toris Laurinaitis - Lithuania's official human name  
> Ivan Braginsky - Russia's official human name
> 
> This one-shot was inspired by KZ Tandingan's song of the same title.

She stood in the midst of the many men and women in the large ballroom. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the Vargas brothers were wealthy, though they did not act as much.

She held a champagne glass in her hands, the drink inside the glass sparkling along with the large rock on the ring on her finger. She walked along the walls of the room, large tapestries and paintings decorating them, drawing her to them. They were so beautiful, yet with all the people in the gathering, they were merely for display—much like her.

In the stunning floor-length gown, the glistening crystals of her jewellery, and the grace of her features, she felt less than the shadows of the drapery that were drawn to show off the large full windows.

The merriment continued, musicians pleasantly garnishing the cordial ambience of the ballroom with delightful tunes. She continued standing away from the rest of the people mingling with their acquaintances. She took a sip of her drink, wincing at the unfamiliar taste of the liquor on her tongue.  
  
  


The sound of someone calling her name caught her attention. She turned to look away from the large windows, her reflection barely visible in the darkness of the evening beyond the glass. Iryna Chernenko greeted her and pulled her over to engage pleasantries with Elizabeta and a younger girl, from Lichtenstein as she recalled. As she followed her Ukrainian friend, she did not know whether she felt relieved to have been pulled away from wallowing in her loneliness or bothered to have been peen pushed into taking part in drivel.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


From the other side of the ballroom, Toris approached his friend. He placed his hand on the blond man's shoulder, making Feliks pause from telling a tall tale to Feliciano. He quickly caught himself and finished up the story, making Feliciano comment in awe. He flashed the Italian a grin and flicked his hair as he turned away to talk to the taller male at his side.

" _Co jest_?" **What is it** He asked, almond eyes imperious as he looked at the Lithuanian male. Toris looked over to a side of the room and towards a distinctive ashen blond head of hair, looming over the rest of the crowd. As Ivan conversed with his partner, Feliks felt a certain twinge of menace pierce him. He pushed the glass he held in his hand towards Toris's chest, making the man fumble to grasp it. Quickly, he took lithe but hasty steps in the general direction of the tall Russian and the lovely lady he identified as his belle.

He called her name, his smile sweet as he held out a hand to her. She seemed confused and startled at his sudden reappearance, after having seemingly fled from her side once the party had started.

"We were just about to grab a drink from the bar," Ivan greeted him, an equally sweet smile on his features, holding an arm out for the lady to take in place of Feliks's hand. She looked from the taller man to the shorter, unsure of whose company to leave.

"I'm afraid she wouldn't enjoy the beverages there. She does not particularly savour liquor," he countered quickly, taking it upon himself to grasp her hand in his, tugging her over. He gave a curt nod to the curious Russian as they stepped away from him.  
  
  


"I've told you he isn't someone you'd like the company of," he chided softly into her ear as they ventured further away. Her brows furrowed before she pulled her hand away from his and shook the other hand he had on her waist off. She glanced at him stiffly.

"Perhaps it slipped my mind. You haven't been reminding me, given that you've barely acknowledged me until earlier in the whole evening," she snapped under her breath, her voice low enough to keep her remark exclusively to him. She turned her back to him as she walked over to Toris. The brown-haired man greeted her warmly before looking astonished as she grabbed one of the two glasses in his hands and downed the sparkling liquid, quite uncharacteristic of her.

Feliks's eyes narrowed at her ill-mannered demeanour towards him before his face lit up like a bulb once Toris's eyes caught sight of him. His friend motioned towards his partner's alarming consumption of drinks, given that she was a lightweight when it came to alcoholic beverages and she was extremely susceptible to getting drunk. He grinned and sent a nonchalant wave, wordlessly telling him to dismiss her uncharacteristic rebellious attitude.

He averted his eyes from his friend and his lover, letting out a low breath. He could not be bothered with her sulking in the middle of such a gathering.  
  
  


\---  
  
  


He loosened his tie as he undressed in the bedroom. Minutes earlier, she had stormed into the house before him and slammed the ensuite bathroom door closed. He had to apologise to Toris who had driven them home for her unruly behaviour. His old friend only expressed concern towards her unpleasant mood. She had been quiet on the ride home but once they had stopped in front of their house, she did not even spare a moment to bid Toris goodbye.

As he heard the bathroom door click open, he looked up, meeting her eyes in the mirror of the closet.

"What was that about?" He asked, pulling out a sweater to change into. She regarded him indifferently, already in her sleepwear. Her face was bare, the roots of her hair damp from when she washed her face hastily.

He sighed at her silence, grabbing the clothes he had pulled out, and made his way to the bathroom.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


As he exited the bathroom, he heard the kettle whistle from the kitchen. He padded his way over to the sound. He saw her standing by the counter, pouring herself a hot cup of tea.

He came behind her, teasing her with his breath on her neck, as he reached forward. The interval from their moment of tension earlier had his dampened mood now back to its usual magisterial temper. Pressing himself slightly against her, he grabbed his teacup from the cupboard and set it down next to hers, the glass clinking against the marble top. She nudged him away as she poured hot water into his cup.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth, tutting as he dragged a kitchen chair across the floor noisily, pulling it away from the table just enough so he could slump onto it.

"Come, _kochanie_ ," **love** his voice glided into her ears, smooth as honey. "Why are you so temperamental this evening?"

She continued to steep their tea, not paying him any mind. Behind her, his green eyes dimmed. He called her name, the syllables tumbling off his lips and quaking her heart.

She rested her palms flat on the countertop, her head hung almost dejectedly.

"I'm just tired," she mumbled.  
  
  


He titled his head, resting his cheek on his hand as he propped his elbow up on the kitchen table.

"We'll rest then, _najdro_ _ż_ _sza_ ," **dearest** he said. She sighed and turned to look at him, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Why invite me to a party when you end up leaving me in the air? If you wanted to socialize, you know you're free to spend a night without me. I could have done so much more this evening than just stand there looking pretty, a trophy for you to show your friends. You pleaded this night from me and I yielded, but you completely deserted me. In the incident I was starting to think things would be fun, you hauled me away in the middle of it." Her steadfast gaze bore into him. He kept his eyes on the kettle she had put down beside her, evading her piercing eyes. She chewed on her lip impatiently, waiting for him to explain himself.  
  
  


His face burned under her scrutiny. He hummed and tried to play it off.

He relished every moment in the spotlight, but not like this. Not the times when he was seen as reprehensible by the person he valued the opinion of the most. Perhaps he had not played his cards right this time around. He depended too much on her seemingly unwavering admiration for him that he cast himself into denial when he started to take her affection for him for granted. He naively thought that no matter how much he cast her aside to monopolize others' attention to him, she would take it. He mistook her fondness for him as security and a guarantee that she would stay by his side no matter how little he saw of himself, no matter how vulnerable he felt. He exploited the stability she brought into his life as a safeguard against his insecurities. It wouldn't matter if everyone else forgot him, there would still be someone in his corner, someone who believed he was more than the shadows. Or so he thought. Perhaps he was being too idealistic to consider the reality of it all.  
  
  


"I thought you might want to meet new people too," he lamely excused sombrely casting his gaze down to his lap.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she let out a long breath.

" _Mój drogi_ , take me back to when I did not know you. Perhaps then, I wouldn't have to worry about trying to forget this grief you kindle in me." **my dear**

Leaving the tea and him sitting alone in the kitchen, she made her way past him and upstairs, closing the door behind her as she entered the bedroom. She slipped under the covers and closed her eyes; frustration, guilt, and confusion consuming her.

She could not understand him. At first, she convinced herself that it would come with time. Their souls would unite just as their bodies have. She would come to comprehend his ostentatious behaviour, his endless appetite for attention, at one point or another—or so she thought. But she found herself not knowing him any better than she had years prior when she had become his acquaintance, and then his friend, and then his lover. He did not let up on his defences. He did not let her in.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Feliks took a sip of the tea she had steeped. His green eyes stared blankly at the coloured water. He felt unease boiling in the pit of his stomach. He did not know how to ease her worries away, he never tried to learn how to. She would get over it like she always eventually did. He wondered if that would be the case this time around. He wondered if his luck had finally run out.  
  
  


Her words continued to sting even after she had left him, all those minutes ago. The feeling of wetness on his cheek disrupted his blank torpor. A single salty tear slid down his face and to his chin. He wiped it away.

" _Moja droga_ , take me back to when I thought I could be brave enough to not fade away." **My dear** He looked down at his hands. "I feel stuck and engulfed by my inhibitions. I thought I could withstand this storm with you—but I am as I have always been. Alone."

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published in Wattpad on Jul 20, 2020.


End file.
